The Harshest Critic

It’s funny that over the past five years the album that I am the least happy with has enjoyed the most praise. Now don’t misunderstand me, I’m not talking awards or even tons of sales. I’m just saying that among my growing catalog of music, that first album has received well beyond the majority of streams, downloads, and physical sales. Not only that, but those songs are the ones people still talk about, for better or worse. I still get messages about Hit Man or the occasional joke about the title track. Cherry Springs has done well and a lot of people have let me know how much they’ve enjoyed tracks like Carousel’s Song and Don’t Go Away. I couldn’t be happier, but for whatever reason, people keep bringing up my first album. Here’s the thing. I don’t think it’s a bad album. I don’t think all of the songs are bad either. I understand that there is an endearing quality to the rawness of the recording, the performance, and the writing. That whole album is raw emotion. Even the songs that are supposed to be funny were never really accepted as being comical. As far as I know, listeners took the songs seriously. Again, for better or worse. The problem I have with that is deeper than just embarrassment. It isn’t just that the lyrics are occasionally sloppy (although that is true too.) It’s that I’m not the same person anymore. I don’t even feel like I’m related to that guy anymore. I don’t really like him either. We all feel that way sometimes, but this is recorded. This isn’t something you can easily forget about. This is something that keeps coming back. It’s out there like a history book repeating this narrative over and over again. Not only that, but I know there are people out there who have misinterpreted the meaning of these songs. These songs weren’t written about anybody else but me. I don’t like to write about other people. I either write about me or I write about fictional characters. For these reasons, I decided earlier this year that I was going to remove my first album from online stores and rerelease it. I’m trying to preserve as much of the original performance as possible while also reworking some of the lyrics and completely overhauling others. At this point, all the core instruments will remain unchanged. All of the vocals will be rerecorded. I’m trying to stay true to what this album means to you, while also making it bearable for me. I think you’ll find any changes that I’ve decided to make to be positive improvements to the listening experience. The performance is still there. Andy McCoy and Rob Hewitt are still banging on the drums. Cody Keifer is still slappin’ da bass. I’m still playing piano and guitar. The same piano and guitar that I played five years ago. I’m just taking that and laying some new vocals on top. The new version of the album is already nearly halfway done and is either going to be called “Allen Park: Revisited” or “Return to Allen Park”.